Category Archives: How I See Life

What to Do When the Cloud Lifts

One fact about depressed people, we usually don’t have many or any hobbies or interests.  Just getting out of bed and completing the basic chores to sustain life can be overwhelming and exhausting, if not impossible.   There is no desire to get together with friends or take on any other activities.  If a moment of clarity and energy does come, we must force ourselves to use it to wash the pile of dishes that has been building up for days or weeks and scrub the toilet before it grows legs and walks out on its own.

What then if the cloud lifts for a period that extends beyond the time it takes us to recover our houses, shop for groceries and, for women, to shave our legs for the first time in months?  We don’t know what to do with ourselves.  I, during these times, often become absorbed in and even obsessed with various activities or buying sprees of a particular item, but when my fascination soon wanes, I crawl back under my covers never to return to those same interests.  I remember Webkins with shame–so much time, energy and mostly dollars down the drain.  My most recent obsession, Teavana, I am over it for months now.  I’ll never drink all the tea I purchased or use all the teapots and accessories.  So much time and money I waste on following temporary impulses when my head decides to feel clear for awhile.

Today, I struggle and ask myself, “What if my current medication trial becomes a long-term success?”   I don’t know what to do with a clear head or even how to recognize it and manage it for an extended period of time.  I certainly cannot afford a series of obsessions and impulse buying.  I want to know for the long haul who I am and what I like to do in my spare time.

Except for a few dishes in the sink, my house is essentially clean, and I have four hours before I must get ready for work.  My normal routine would be to sleep the entire morning away, but I’m not tired.  I don’t feel particularly happy, but I don’t feel sad either.  Is this how normal people feel.  I’m awake and I just don’t know what to do about it!

Yellow Hibiscus


If You Aren’t Angry & Frightened, You Aren’t Paying Attention

During my recent staycation this September, I revived a Twitter account that I had opened and quickly abandoned years ago.  Coincidentally (or not) my return to Twitter coincided with the timing of the recent budget votes and came just days before Senator Ted Cruz’s lengthy impassioned anti-Obamacare speech on the Senate floor.  One or two tweets from me about my opposition to Obamacare and I had retweets galore and followers aplenty almost overnight.  They followed me.  I followed them.  Soon I was hooked–swept into the world of Obamacare, the debt crisis, the Common Core debate, the right to keep and bear arms and other issues of government overreach.

I am a conservative–fiscally and socially.  Why?  Because I believe in God, The Constitution of the United States and The Bill of Rights.  I believe in the vision of our founding fathers–limited government and freedom from tyranny and from religious persecution.  For many years now, I have become increasingly concerned, and yes frightened, at the overreach of our governments both the federal and those of the various states.  I am sickened by the knowledge that while the people of this once great country sleep, ignoring the big picture and consumed with the details of their own personal lives, our government quietly intrudes further and further into those lives, takes away our ability to choose and grabs more and more power, working toward rendering us dependent and impotent to fight back. Continue reading If You Aren’t Angry & Frightened, You Aren’t Paying Attention

Green Tea: Metabolism Boosting Gold?

I’m always looking for easier or better ways to accomplish difficult tasks.  At present, the most difficult task I am facing is losing 100 plus pounds.  The other day, I happened upon an article on my home page,, entitled No time to work out? Try these 7 tricks to boost your metabolism that grabbed my attention.  Hopeful but a bit skeptical because I’m not one to buy into fad diets or false promises, I clicked on the link and received a pleasant surprise.  This is a great article–short and to the point and full of helpful tips.  Some of my takeaways from the article, realistic changes I believe I can make now to help boost my metabolism and therefore attain my weight loss goal:  Drink more ice cold water, eat more lean protein, drink a few cups of high quality green tea every day, and try to sleep at least 9 hours per night.

What about the suggestions that I am unable to make work (at least not right now)?  In the past, my all or nothing attitude would have defeated me before I started.  An older, wiser me now realizes that some benefit is better than no benefit and has learned to be content with what I am able to do.  I don’t own heavy weights and am not in good enough shape to do a quick, high-intensity workout.  Spicy foods don’t work for me–not the temperature going down nor the indigestion afterward.  And, I only eat organic produce when it’s available and affordable which is almost never.  Four out of seven I can do.  That’s not too bad.  I’ll add the weight training once I have the first four mastered and am in a little better shape.  For now, I am happy sitting in front of my computer sipping a cup of Teavana’s Gyokuro Imperial Green Tea which better be worth its weight in metabolism boosting gold because it is almost as expensive. 🙂


Optimist, Pessimist, Scientist or Realist?

People have at times complained that I can be negative or a pessimist, but I have always believed myself to be more of a realist–someone who looks at both sides and comes up with a logical conclusion.  The following photo that I clipped from my sister’s Facebook post tonight describes my view of life better than I can.

The optimist sees the glass half-full; the pessimist sees it half-empty. And then there’s the scientist…glass always full

I’m not a scientist, but scientists are, we hope, realists.  So, by my way of thinking, the glass is always full, but the way you see life by looking at the glass depends on whether you need air or water more at any given time.  Life is what it is.  Some people make it worse or better than it is.  I try to take a more logical and rational approach.  It doesn’t always work–we all have bad days–but I give it my best.